Close, but no Cigar - Chapter 6
Erika walked into the room and I was a little embarrassed so I covered myself with a blanket. She laughed and told me to lay on TOP of the blanket. She grabbed a handful of what looked like honey and balled it up. “See, it’s not hot, just warm. Feel.” She rubbed some honey on the inside of my wrist. I barely registered the temperature at all, since I was so nervous and felt totally exposed despite the small towel I used to cover my lap. She lifted the towel and roughly yanked my useless panties to one side. “Hmmmm…I’m just going to prep you. Can you spread your thighs a little?” I just stared at the ceiling and did her bidding. I had no idea what kind of tool she picked up but all of the sudden, I heard an insistent buzzing…
Yes, yes, I received my first bikini wax - or sugaring in my case. (Editor’s note: If you are related to me and/or don’t want to read about the area around my hooha, I suggest skipping this blog entry).
I’ve been taking swimming lessons all summer and since I’m no bathing beauty (yet), I want to at least appear modest and clean at the pool. As any woman knows, shaving is irritating only several hours afterward. If I shave my bikini line, there are definitely a couple of times in the next few days that I’m going into the bathroom at work for a private scratch. (Sorry if this seems impolite to anyone reading this, but you know it’s true). So I decided to bite the bullet and go in for a bikini wax. There were just too many benefits and the only problems were pain and the cost of maintenance. But I can’t justifiably call myself a modern woman unless there is some sacrifice involved in looking good.
After researching some choices, I went to The Sweet Spot in Fremont. First let me just say that they need a bigger sign. Thankfully, the gentleman I asked, knew where it was. You actually have to go down the stairs next to a Thai restaurant to a lower level than the main street. I had no idea this even existed in Fremont. Once inside the very small shop, I only saw female practitioners – I have no idea if The Sweet Spot hires men to perform bikini, Brazilian or any other kind of sugaring. I would have seriously protested if my practitioner was a guy. Maybe after I was used to the entire process, but certainly not for my first time.
Much like massage, you are taken into a small private room with a clinic-like bed smack in the middle. After some questions and small talk, you are left alone to get undressed and get into bed. Also, I was given the choice of wearing “spa panties”. Since, I’m a newbie, I decide to put on the spa panties. The packaging looks bizarrely like tampons. I rip open the wrapping and unroll the panties and I hold them up à la Anthony Michael Hall in “Sixteen Candles”. I’m not kidding when I say this but spa panties are the thickness of a napkin. And like a total idiot, I put it on. If anything, I feel nakeder. I realize nakeder is not actually a word, but it’s how I felt – nakeder.
So I get under the covers because I feel so exposed and I’m not sure what to do. When Erika comes back, she tries to comfort me with the sugar versus wax talk. I’m kind of listening but I’m mostly feeling fat and nakeder. She pushes aside the towel and napkin (or spa panty) to check me out. Apparently, I need to be “prepped” before the actual sugaring can begin. She’s using an electric razor. It tickled. Normally, this might be fun, but since I’m not fucking Erika, it’s just uncomfortable. So, the buzzing takes forever and I’m really surprised by this. I’m only getting my bikini line trimmed and frankly, I don’t have a lot of hair. I’m Asian – we’re not a hairy group of people. The buzzing goes on and on and I start feeling the tickling in unexpected places. I’m getting nervous and blurt out, “You DO realize that I’m getting a bikini, not a Brazilian?”
She knows. She just wanted to make me even all over. OK. So the sugaring starts and she asks me to spread my legs a little. So far, this is my best lesbian experience ever. The sugaring of my nether regions took about 30 minutes. Which surprises the hell out of me because like I said, I’m just not that hairy. Erika let me know that I was getting the “standard” bikini line.
One of the reasons, I decide to sugar versus wax is because there is a rumor that sugar is less painful. I can’t say if that is true, since I’ve never received a bikini wax. However, I do wax my upper lip (what little hair I have is jet black). Here is the breakdown: Wax is HOT and is applied with the hair grain and pulled against the grain. Sugar is warm and applied against the grain and pulled with the grain. Wax does hurt when it’s ripped off of you. However, sugar hurts going ON and coming off. I’m not kidding. I guess it could hurt less than waxing, but I guess you have to make a choice. One tug rated 9 for pain or two painful tugs rated 6-7 each. It’s a tough choice. And the reason Erika needed to trim before starting is because sugaring works best with short hair. The longer the hair, the more it hurts going on. And let me tell you, that is very true.
So after I’m done, Erika leaves me so I can get dressed. I don’t know why – she’s seen and touched everything private. I get off the table and look back to see the mess – it looks like Grizzly Adams had been on that table. Wow. I finally find a trash can for the worthless spa panties, but I can’t find a mirror. I have to wait until I get home to see the results. I ran a few errands before going home and felt extra sexy knowing that my bikini line was beautifully smooth. No itching, no irritation. Yeah!
So I get home and rush to my room. I pull down my sweats and…and I look ready for my Playboy pictorial. The “standard” bikini must be the ones on Ipanema Beach. The hair that was left was really short and left nothing to the imagination. I could see everything. In fact, when I was a little girl and my mom bathed me and my little sister in the same tub, I could have sworn that my sister had a mole on her pubic region. Turns out, it was me. Huh.
Yes, yes, I received my first bikini wax - or sugaring in my case. (Editor’s note: If you are related to me and/or don’t want to read about the area around my hooha, I suggest skipping this blog entry).
I’ve been taking swimming lessons all summer and since I’m no bathing beauty (yet), I want to at least appear modest and clean at the pool. As any woman knows, shaving is irritating only several hours afterward. If I shave my bikini line, there are definitely a couple of times in the next few days that I’m going into the bathroom at work for a private scratch. (Sorry if this seems impolite to anyone reading this, but you know it’s true). So I decided to bite the bullet and go in for a bikini wax. There were just too many benefits and the only problems were pain and the cost of maintenance. But I can’t justifiably call myself a modern woman unless there is some sacrifice involved in looking good.
After researching some choices, I went to The Sweet Spot in Fremont. First let me just say that they need a bigger sign. Thankfully, the gentleman I asked, knew where it was. You actually have to go down the stairs next to a Thai restaurant to a lower level than the main street. I had no idea this even existed in Fremont. Once inside the very small shop, I only saw female practitioners – I have no idea if The Sweet Spot hires men to perform bikini, Brazilian or any other kind of sugaring. I would have seriously protested if my practitioner was a guy. Maybe after I was used to the entire process, but certainly not for my first time.
Much like massage, you are taken into a small private room with a clinic-like bed smack in the middle. After some questions and small talk, you are left alone to get undressed and get into bed. Also, I was given the choice of wearing “spa panties”. Since, I’m a newbie, I decide to put on the spa panties. The packaging looks bizarrely like tampons. I rip open the wrapping and unroll the panties and I hold them up à la Anthony Michael Hall in “Sixteen Candles”. I’m not kidding when I say this but spa panties are the thickness of a napkin. And like a total idiot, I put it on. If anything, I feel nakeder. I realize nakeder is not actually a word, but it’s how I felt – nakeder.
So I get under the covers because I feel so exposed and I’m not sure what to do. When Erika comes back, she tries to comfort me with the sugar versus wax talk. I’m kind of listening but I’m mostly feeling fat and nakeder. She pushes aside the towel and napkin (or spa panty) to check me out. Apparently, I need to be “prepped” before the actual sugaring can begin. She’s using an electric razor. It tickled. Normally, this might be fun, but since I’m not fucking Erika, it’s just uncomfortable. So, the buzzing takes forever and I’m really surprised by this. I’m only getting my bikini line trimmed and frankly, I don’t have a lot of hair. I’m Asian – we’re not a hairy group of people. The buzzing goes on and on and I start feeling the tickling in unexpected places. I’m getting nervous and blurt out, “You DO realize that I’m getting a bikini, not a Brazilian?”
She knows. She just wanted to make me even all over. OK. So the sugaring starts and she asks me to spread my legs a little. So far, this is my best lesbian experience ever. The sugaring of my nether regions took about 30 minutes. Which surprises the hell out of me because like I said, I’m just not that hairy. Erika let me know that I was getting the “standard” bikini line.
One of the reasons, I decide to sugar versus wax is because there is a rumor that sugar is less painful. I can’t say if that is true, since I’ve never received a bikini wax. However, I do wax my upper lip (what little hair I have is jet black). Here is the breakdown: Wax is HOT and is applied with the hair grain and pulled against the grain. Sugar is warm and applied against the grain and pulled with the grain. Wax does hurt when it’s ripped off of you. However, sugar hurts going ON and coming off. I’m not kidding. I guess it could hurt less than waxing, but I guess you have to make a choice. One tug rated 9 for pain or two painful tugs rated 6-7 each. It’s a tough choice. And the reason Erika needed to trim before starting is because sugaring works best with short hair. The longer the hair, the more it hurts going on. And let me tell you, that is very true.
So after I’m done, Erika leaves me so I can get dressed. I don’t know why – she’s seen and touched everything private. I get off the table and look back to see the mess – it looks like Grizzly Adams had been on that table. Wow. I finally find a trash can for the worthless spa panties, but I can’t find a mirror. I have to wait until I get home to see the results. I ran a few errands before going home and felt extra sexy knowing that my bikini line was beautifully smooth. No itching, no irritation. Yeah!
So I get home and rush to my room. I pull down my sweats and…and I look ready for my Playboy pictorial. The “standard” bikini must be the ones on Ipanema Beach. The hair that was left was really short and left nothing to the imagination. I could see everything. In fact, when I was a little girl and my mom bathed me and my little sister in the same tub, I could have sworn that my sister had a mole on her pubic region. Turns out, it was me. Huh.
- Susan in Seattle