Hi. My name is Susan and I'm a Workaholic.
I work too much. Obsessively so. I understand the root of my addiction, but I also understand that for people with addictive behaviors, it is often switching addictions, not curing them.
Back story: I got into credit card trouble about 9 years ago. That's when I realized that I had "a problem". About 7 years ago, I started paying it down. Unfortunately, a few years later, I was unemployed for several months. I managed to save my house, but it was with considerable effort. Everything is peachy-keen now and I should pay off all my credit card debt by April 2006.
I have two jobs now. My regular job (salary + benefits) and my "part-time" job. My part-time job pays pretty well - it's hourly with the prospect of overtime. The most I've ever worked in a 7-day period was 96 hours. Yes, that's a nine and then a six. Needless to say, I'm tired all the time. Many of my friends would like me to quit my 2nd job. However, my need to get rid of all of my credit card debt is pathologically obsessive.
I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm scared. My friends realize that even after I'm paying off the demon credit cards, that I may not quit. The memory of collection calls and letters and worry is still pretty graphic. So now I want to save money. Like 10's of 1000's of dollars. I don't necessarily think having a nest egg is a bad thing, but I've neglected having a life. I'm single with no kids and in my 30's (or late 20's, depending on how I feel). I should be having lots of fun. I should be drinking. I should be having sex. I should be better at bar games.
I went out the other night to a dive bar. I was with my buddy Kim and she was visiting a friend who works at the dive. We drank hard cider. We played 80's rock on the juke box. We played pool until the bar closed. I had a freaking great time. For the last 7 years, I forgot to just hang out with my buddies. What the hell was I thinking?!
I wish that I could change with just a wish. I can't. I'm not that strong enough. I might be strong enough to work 60-70 hours a week for 8 months out of the year but I'm not strong or disciplined enough to change my nature. I think some people see me as incredibly disciplined because of my strong work ethic, but I'm remarkably out of control.
It's not the worst problem to have. I'm an extreme person; my whole life has been about trying to achieve balance. I'll take it easy again. I'm just wondering when I will allow myself to do that.
- Susan in Seattle
Back story: I got into credit card trouble about 9 years ago. That's when I realized that I had "a problem". About 7 years ago, I started paying it down. Unfortunately, a few years later, I was unemployed for several months. I managed to save my house, but it was with considerable effort. Everything is peachy-keen now and I should pay off all my credit card debt by April 2006.
I have two jobs now. My regular job (salary + benefits) and my "part-time" job. My part-time job pays pretty well - it's hourly with the prospect of overtime. The most I've ever worked in a 7-day period was 96 hours. Yes, that's a nine and then a six. Needless to say, I'm tired all the time. Many of my friends would like me to quit my 2nd job. However, my need to get rid of all of my credit card debt is pathologically obsessive.
I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm scared. My friends realize that even after I'm paying off the demon credit cards, that I may not quit. The memory of collection calls and letters and worry is still pretty graphic. So now I want to save money. Like 10's of 1000's of dollars. I don't necessarily think having a nest egg is a bad thing, but I've neglected having a life. I'm single with no kids and in my 30's (or late 20's, depending on how I feel). I should be having lots of fun. I should be drinking. I should be having sex. I should be better at bar games.
I went out the other night to a dive bar. I was with my buddy Kim and she was visiting a friend who works at the dive. We drank hard cider. We played 80's rock on the juke box. We played pool until the bar closed. I had a freaking great time. For the last 7 years, I forgot to just hang out with my buddies. What the hell was I thinking?!
I wish that I could change with just a wish. I can't. I'm not that strong enough. I might be strong enough to work 60-70 hours a week for 8 months out of the year but I'm not strong or disciplined enough to change my nature. I think some people see me as incredibly disciplined because of my strong work ethic, but I'm remarkably out of control.
It's not the worst problem to have. I'm an extreme person; my whole life has been about trying to achieve balance. I'll take it easy again. I'm just wondering when I will allow myself to do that.
- Susan in Seattle
posted by Susan at 1:47 PM
4 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
"Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...."
Apparently there's also cocaine and spam.
Lay off the stuff.
- Susan in Seattle
Hey Susan - I wonder what comment the blog administrator had to remove!!!
"The Heat"
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